Thursday, December 02, 2004

Hail To The Clown

Sitting in a circle singing an annoyingly perky song to a toy clown is not how I used to spend Wednesdays. But I have to admit that by the time they blew the bubbles, I was into it. Daniel was not. They scared him and made him cry. But he perked up again when the hand puppets and the parachute came out. And so it is that for one hour each week of what I still consider My New Life, my infant son and I are bonded by song and silliness.

I’m not knocking it. I’m a big fan. These classes assuage the guilt I feel for not knowing the developmentally correct way to interact with my baby to ensure maximum growth. As the horrible book I bought that promised I’d have the smartest baby ever if I just followed their simple guidelines put it – “The first year is The Most Important Time for your baby to learn. Your baby takes in more this year then ever, ever again his entire life. Cumulatively. Got it? SO DON’T SCREW UP!” I’m not quoting verbatim, but you get the point.

The book suggests approximately 10,000 one-minute games with specific toys for each activity (their brand) that you must play with your baby every day. There are lists with games specific to each month of life. But, and this they stress as being of the utmost importance, you must also watch out for signs of exhaustion, stress, over repetitiveness from said games, which include yawning, eye contact avoidance, sticking ones tongue out (theirs not yours), wiggling legs. Not to be confused with the wiggling legs of delight, which mean you’re doing it just right. Do these “very simple and easy and fun” things and you will increase your child’s IQ ten points.

It’s insanity, I tell you. And though I know my baby is taking everything in without the games and that he’s learning in spite of my fumbling attempts, and given that I couldn’t possibly kiss him and hold him and sing to him more, it just never seems enough. That old friend guilt sits on the sidelines, waiting, until I put Daniel in his bouncy seat for ten minutes so that I can eat lunch or finish writing an article. And then it pounces – “Aha, you selfish, awful mother. How dare you take time to eat? I’ll bet so-and-so down the block doesn’t ever eat. You. Are. A. Horrible. Mother.”

So, at $14 a pop, these weekly Wednesday classes seem well worth it. Daniel laughs and giggles and he seems to like the unfortunately catchy songs. And the squeaky, perky team leader who uses her rah-rah voice not just for the kids but for the moms too – “Does Daniel’s mommy like the clown? Good mommy!” – is a small price to pay. And as my brain slowly dissolves into a big puddle of mush and I say things like “Who’s a good hand puppet? Who’s a good hand puppet?” only to be gently reminded that I’m supposed to let my son play with it as well, Daniel giggles and I realize this is the most important thing I could be doing. Hail to the clown. Hail to the parachute. Hail to the overcaffeinated team leaders who make me feel like a better mother!


At October 9, 2005 at 5:42 AM, Blogger Jim Naka said...

I have a adult toy store site. It pretty much covers adult toy store related stuff. Check it out if you get time :-)

At October 28, 2005 at 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Informative blog you have here. Here is mine the shopping channel canada

At November 3, 2005 at 6:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey nice info you posted.
I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!Adult Personals

At November 3, 2005 at 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice Blog about sams wholesale. I also have a Blog/Website about sams wholesale which is why I enjoyed this blog so much. Keep up the excellent work! Check out my site if you have a moment.

At November 16, 2005 at 3:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Public Managers andA MPA Programmes
Santiago Iniguez , Dean of Instituto de Empresa. Traditionally, the public sector was considered the ugly duckling of management programmes.
Find out how to buy and sell anything, like things related to instant road repair on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like instant road repair!

At December 25, 2005 at 8:17 AM, Blogger Mortgage Center said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a mortgage calc site/blog. It pretty much covers mortgage calc related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

At January 17, 2006 at 12:12 PM, Anonymous Kristen said...

A clown? Cripes. Try music together or something.

At January 18, 2006 at 2:15 PM, Blogger lewisbrooks9009 said...

I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

At April 2, 2006 at 9:21 AM, Blogger tandyprice2465143709 said...

Do you want free porn? Contact my AIM SN 'abunnyinpink' just say 'give me some pics now!'.

No age verification required, totally free! Just send an instant message to AIM screen name "abunnyinpink".

Any message you send is fine!

AIM abuse can be reported here.

At May 18, 2006 at 7:36 PM, Blogger mikeprehiem8442234726 said...

Get any Desired College Degree, In less then 2 weeks.

Call this number now 24 hours a day 7 days a week (413) 208-3069

Get these Degrees NOW!!!

"BA", "BSc", "MA", "MSc", "MBA", "PHD",

Get everything within 2 weeks.
100% verifiable, this is a real deal

Act now you owe it to your future.

(413) 208-3069 call now 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

At October 18, 2008 at 4:11 AM, Anonymous Kelley said...

Seems you are playing with Daniel. Cause DAY-UM woman, have you read these comments? Bizarre.

And nothing says I love you like a box and a roll of paper towel. My kids always loved that more than anything.

At March 15, 2009 at 9:30 PM, Blogger Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

At March 15, 2009 at 10:00 PM, Blogger File said...

Download Forum Poster V3 3.0 at

At March 16, 2009 at 12:30 PM, Blogger Keyword said...

hello... you may submit this blog to my webBlog Directory, have a nice day!

Keyword Directory

At March 19, 2009 at 3:00 AM, Blogger natasha said...

Watch Natsha Naked!

At March 26, 2009 at 2:29 PM, Anonymous Ricky said...

nice posting everyday.keep it up

At July 15, 2009 at 2:07 PM, Blogger indavao said...

hi... just dropping by!

At July 19, 2009 at 9:00 AM, Blogger tagskie said...

hi.. just dropping by here... have a nice day!

At August 22, 2009 at 3:30 PM, Blogger JanuskieZ said...

Hi... Looking ways to market your blog? try this:

At June 5, 2010 at 3:13 AM, Blogger Nan said...

Hello, Thank you for follow me on Blogfrog,
please join my community and visit my blog if you have chance for exchange our Quality time!

Have a great day.

At September 24, 2010 at 11:31 PM, Blogger joven said...

thanks,this is my site be a follower..more wedding ideas!

At September 25, 2010 at 12:30 AM, Blogger joven said... how to love more a follower..thanks..


Post a Comment

<< Home